Daily Musings and Choosings

Okay, right now I’m hella pissed off. Because David will not fucking peace out of my life. I find it really funny and simultaneously irritating that David keeps hitting on Stephanie. Its not as if I am jealous by any means, but he’s so fucking sneaky about it. As I lashed out before, like if he just came outright and said it, I wouldn’t give a fuck. But to lead me on to believe I had a chance with him for 5 years, then openly admit it, then give me some bullshit like he’d rather date me than Stephanie only for Stephanie to yet again mention how he tried to come on to her….its kinda annoying and frustrating.

For me, its like I feel Stephanie does like David and in order to not “piss me off” or “appease” me, she just claims she doesn’t. Because there is no way that for someone who wasn’t interested would she give it that much attention….enough to the point where her mom knows….like she only tells her mom about boys she likes, like Garth, like Anthony…like David. The fact that she had a conversation with her mom about sex and that her mom asked her would she loose her virginity to David made me like LIVID. Not even for the fact that I have been romantically in a twister with that bitch for 5 years and have finally come to terms that I do not like him that way and he doesn’t deserve me or any ounce of attention from my ass…. it’s kinda like why won’t you leave me and my life the fuck alone?

At first, I won’t lie, I thought that I was just being jealous that David liked Stephanie instead of me. But when I realized that he had also told Michelle that there was too much sexual tension between them, I realized its his bogus ass busted trick ass lying. I have realized that he’s not even that attractive and when I said that, its like Stephanie continually brings him up. I really don’t get it, its like why constantly pick at a scab unless you want it to bleed?

So I just had to get that off my chest cause its kinda stupid. Like David told Stephanie he has to act conservative around her and not flirt cause I’d flip….and I’ve done that before. Like bitch, let me tell YOU what YOU’VE done before….don’t even get me started. And then Stephanie almost asked when….which would have been bad because I did flip at him and didn’t tell her because I suspected she did like David and I had feelings for him at the time and it pissed me the fuck off that I was being played that way. Especially when he “claims” to have feelings for me, like NUH UH NUH UH.

PHEW. I’m just happy I’m seeing Sina on Friday. So so happy. I miss that little bagel.